王木木系

今天收到同學轉寄的電郵
蠻有趣
分享一下囉

---

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS

         40-ish                                 -       49
         Adventurous                      -       Slept with everyone
         Athletic                                -       No tits
         Average looking                -       Ugly
         Beautiful                             -       Pathological liar
         Contagious Smile            -       Does a lot of pills
         Emotionally secure          -       On medication
         Feminist                             -       Fat
         Free spirit                           -       Junkie
         Friendship first                  -       Former very *friendly* person
         Fun                                      -       Annoying
         New Age                             -       Body hair in the wrong places
         Open-minded                    -       Desperate
         Outgoing                             -       Loud and Embarrassing
         Passionate                        -       Sloppy drunk
         Professional                      -       Bitch
         Voluptuous                         -       Very Fat
         Large frame                       -       Hugely Fat
         Wants Soul mate              -       Stalker

WOMEN'S ENGLISH

         1. Yes                                                        =       No
         2. No                                                        =       Yes
         3. Maybe                                                   =       No
         4. We need                                               =       I want
         5. I am sorry                                              =       you'll be sorry
         6. We need to talk                                          =       you're in trouble
         7. Sure, go ahead                                           =       you better not
         8. Do what you want                                   =       you will pay for this later
         9. I am not upset                                        =       of course I am upset, you moron!
       10. You're very attentive tonight                      =  is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH

         1. I am hungry                                                =       I am hungry
         2. I am sleepy                                                 =       I am sleepy
         3. I am tired                                                     =       I am tired
         4. Nice dress                                                   =       Nice cleavage!
         5. I love you                                                     =       let's have sex now
         6. I am bored                                                   =       Do you want to have sex?
         7. May I have this dance?                                 =       I'd like to have sex with you
         8. Can I call you sometime?                               =       I'd like to have sex with you
         9. Do you want to go to a movie?                       =       I'd like to have sex with you
         10. Can I take you out to dinner?                       =       I'd like to have sex with you
         11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit             =       I'm gay

And finally.....

A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.

For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.

However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside.

 

NOW SEND THIS TO A MAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND A WOMAN WITH A SENSE OF HUMOUR!!!

---